The abnormally strange world
by SuckOutYourSoul
Summary: In order to save their world,Klonoa enters Sonics realm only to be surronded by randomness. rated T for character deaths, bloody scenes and Shadow's awesomeness. LOTS OF CHARACTER BASHING please R
1. WHERE AM I?

It was the void, the boring, empty, everlasting void that led to nowhere. 'Oh joy. I wonder what idiots I'll meet this time.' thought ______.

**Meanwhile at a random party at Christopher's mansion Sonic and friends were partying for no reason what's so eva.**

"Sonic~ I made you so-" BANG! While Chris was running over to Sonic, Shadow just so happened to be aiming at the tree behind Chris.

"WHA THA HECK?!" Charmy screamed in surprise at the bloody mess left behind.

"Get over it it's not like he's dead for good!" Shadow grumpily said to the horrified bee. Shadow knew that because Chris was so over obsessed with sonic he made an immortality potion so he and sonic could be together forever. After Chris drank it Sonic grabbed the one made for him and threw it at a tree, causing the tree to wither away and die. Soon afterwards a funeral was held for the tree. END OF EXPLANATION!

Tails quickly grabbed a kitchen knife to stab Chris. Quickly jamming it into the twitching body.

"This what you get for tryin to kill me!" Tails happily said as he walked away from the mess.

"TAILS!" Cream shouted. "How could you do that?! I'm not surprised by Shadow, but YOU?!"

BANG! "shoot missed…." Shadow was aiming for Creams head only to miss and hit cheese.

Everyone looked then turned away only knowing it was the usual. Since Cheese drank some of the immortality potion off the dead tree then it was too immortal. END OF EXPLANATION!

CRASH! BANG! A object had fallen from the sky landing on one of the many buildings on Chris's property.

"Great there goes the tool shed" the now awake Chris mumbled. As they all ran towards the shed they noticed a creature that appeared to just be waking up. It had long black ears with white on the bottoms that were shaped like maple leaves. It wore a blue hat with what looked to be Pac Man about to eat a dot. A blue shirt that had a large silver zipper on it and blue pants. A tail that was shaped just like the ears, and yellow eyes. It's fur being mostly black.

"WHA THA HECK IS THAT THING?!" Espio yelled before Charmy in order to mock him.

"The voices tell me it's a rabbit!" Knuckles called out.

"NO! It's a puppy!" Vector bellowed.

"Oh my gosh these people are idiots." The creature blandly stated.

"HOW THE CRUD AM I AN IDIOT?! I'M THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM!!!" Shadow angrily shouted.

"Not you, the other 2." It simply stated.

"Well then can't argue with that, they are idiots." Shadow stated now more calm knowing he wasn't the one being called an idiot.

"I feel insulted!" Vector whined.

"You should 'cause you were insulted." Tails said, seeming like one of the only smart people there including Shadow.

"So what ya doin here pipsqueak?" The arrogant Sonic asked.

"I'm here because this world will be destroyed soon. So I came here in order t-" before the creature could finish it's sentence Sonic quickly interrupted it.

"No prob I'll save the world like I always do seeing that I'm the fastest, and coolest thing alive." Sonic arrogantly stated.

"Keep trying, everyone knows that I'm better." Shadow stated.

"PROVE IT!" Sonic shouted at Shadow trying to see the proof of this statement.

"For one thing I have more fans. Girls love me for my coolness, and even boys admire me for how much more skilled I am and my better color scheme." Shadow said. After that sonic was quiet about the matter. Everyone knew this was a fact, so there was no reason to argue. The creature that had landed there just moments ago already forgotten until…

"Excuse me what's your name mister?" Cream asked trying to start up a conversation.

"Klonoa." the creature stated, now that it was somewhat more quieter they could tell it was a boy by the sound of his voice.

"Sonic is better tha-" BANG!!! Before Chris could finish his sentence Shadow once again shot him causing him to fall dead for the 14th time today. (it was only 10 am they all met up at 8am.) Klonoa stared in disbelief. The fact that the hedgehog had guns with him and would shoot some one without a second thought reminded him of a certain friend back home. Now he was questioning rather he should go home somehow or try to stay on good terms with this person and still accomplish his job as the "dream traveler".

" WHAT KIND OF SPECIES ARE YOU?!?!" Amy shouted getting her first time to talk for a while now.

"I'm a cat!" Klonoa said sounding rather insulted and hurt.

"WHA?!?!" most of them shouted except for Shadow and Espio.

"But your ears are all floppy!!" Rouge added sounding like she felt like she was being mentally toyed with.

"Just cause they're floppy doesn't mean I'm a rabbit." Klonoa stated.

"I CAN'T BELIVE IT THE VOICES WERE WRONG!!!! GET OUTTA MY HEAAAAAD!!!" Knuckles said in a state of denial. Klonoa looked at him rather confused and surprised. Now he was pretty sure that if this world was destroyed not that many people would care. Some might see it as a relief.

After a few hours of confusion everyone went home except Klonoa.

"You can come to my house after all no one else would ever take you in anyways!" Amy cruelly said. Klonoa was extremely offended but seeing as he had no where else to go he took the offer. After being woke up at FIVE IN THE FREAKIN MORNING he was guided (more like forced) by Amy to a open field where everyone except Shadow was.

"Where's Shadow?" Cream asked.

"We're goin to his house today." Tails said seeming rather annoyed considering everyone already told cream this at least 54 times .

"Oh goody!! Now me and Sonic can go into his living room and watch horror movies together!!" Chris blurted out. Everyone now stared surprised and somewhat disturbed by this random comment. Chris seemed happy that he hasn't been shot yet.

As they walked towards the address stated by Shadow they neared a mansion.

"He probably lives next door." Vanilla guessed. They looked around to notice this was the only building around. They carefully entered (seeing as Shadow was the kind of person to have tons of deadly traps everywhere).

"Hey look he has a garden!!!" Amy shouted thinking it was the perfect romantic spot for her and Sonic quickly dragging him in there.

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!" Chris shouted at Amy following her into the labyrinth. Everyone followed in order to see the fight. Amy took out her piko piko hammer out of absolute nowhere proving many laws of science incorrect in one action. As for Chris, he just had no weapon. When they were about to lunge at each other they noticed something that proved this was Shadow's garden. There were statues of Maria **everywhere. **However they noticed too late they were already jumping at each other, Amy smashed a statue of Maria with angel wings into pieces, while Chris just barely touched a statue of Maria smiling only to make it crumble into dust.

"OH SNAP!!!" Vector shouted. Then footsteps were being heard from the balcony. Everyone but the almost asleep and completely forgotten Klonoa looked up in sheer horror. Shadow appeared with at least 7 guns ready and loaded. There was a girly shriek but no one even bothered to figure out who it was (it was probably Chris.) Shadow picked up a random gun and aimed it at Sonic shooting him in his legs at least 19 times.

"What the crud Shadow I didn't do it what was that for?!" Sonic cried out.

"For being alive and I'll give you 7 more for defying me and 2 more for defying me on **MY **property." Shadow angrily said only to shoot Sonic 9 more times. He then shot Amy at about 54 times, throwing the 4 empty guns on the floor angrily. He quickly shot Chris with the remaining bullets and guns then reloaded his gun with all the extra bullets he had.

"NOW WHO'S THE FASTEST THING ALIVE?!" Shadow shouted at Sonic ignoring the other 2 bloody messes on the ground. The others (Except Klonoa) were now shivering in fear. They all slowly entered the mansion avoiding any statues of Maria. They left the 3 bloody messes in the garden. Shadow soon afterwards entered the garden and "borrowed" Chris, Sonics, and Amy's money to pay for the statues Amy and Chris ruined, but seeing as they were not enough Shadow decided to sell Amy's body on the black market. ( Seeing that he was a regular there.) Sonic wasn't dead yet so Shadow was still debating what to do with the body. He was probably going to lock Chris's body down in the torture room and shoot him to his hearts content. Soon afterwards he made everyone pay an entrance fee for coming into his house which was all of their money. Klonoa quickly fell asleep on the couch making Vector and Charmy to complain only to be quickly told by Vanilla that there was at least 3 other sofas and a few chairs in the room.

After Klonoa was fully awake he had a few snacks and chatted with the others to try to understand their personalities. Once he was told by Tails that Amy and Chris was shot to death by Shadow he was surprised, sad, and relieved, mainly relieved. When the party was over he headed to Amy's house now taking advantage of it which made him slightly depressed and ashamed but he tried to get over it. The next morning he was awakened by shouting, loud music, and **lots** of lights. He went down stairs only to see a party going on.

"Gosh you're a deep sleeper we've been partying for at least 4 hours. Come on time t-" Vector said only to be interrupted by the sound of marching.

* * *

**Authors ramblings**

Dang it not enough Klonoa!!! . So~ much Shadow, and I don't even have a plot yet! This is my first fanfic so NO FLAMING!!!

DISCLAMER! I do not own any of the characters of this story


	2. Moo

"WHA THE HECK?!" shouted Charmy, wondering what the heck the sound of marching was coming from. Everyone else stared in amazement.

"They're coming to kill us ALL!!" Vanilla shouted nearly breaking the poor, defenseless, wooden door.

"What is my dear Vanilla?" Vector said, rushing over to Vanilla in a somewhat dramatic style land on his knees and holding Vanilla's hand. For a moment he tried to gaze into Vanilla's eyes only for Cream to interrupt. Vector's first attempt of the day had failed. Klonoa walked over to the door trying to ignore Vector's constant noise. Reaching his hand out he remembered the door had been broken moments earlier. So instead he pushed the door knocking it off it's hinges.

"HOLY CRUD KLONOA HAS SUPER STRENGTH!!' Rouge bellowed, making everyone turn in astonishment.

"Hurry lift something heavy and over exert yourself!" Knuckles cried hoping to get rid of the once thought rabbit.

"If he has super strength then he won't!" Rouge angrily told Knuckles. For a while they agued not giving Klonoa a chance to say he didn't have super strength. The door was already about to come off it's hinges.

More marching. They looked outside idiots and all. Small red, round animals with blue clawed hands and round blue eyes with yellow feet marched through the streets.

"What is that thing?" Knuckles said to himself hoping the "voices" would tell him.

"It's called a 'moo' and they are surprisingly deadly." Klonoa replied.

"but it doesn't even look close to a cow!" Knuckles whined.

"It's **called **a moo." Klonoa verified.

"BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A COW!!" yelled Knuckles.

"IT'S A MOO!!" Klonoa was starting to get irritated.

"IT AIN'T NO COW!"

"IT'S NOT A COW IT JUST **CALLED **A MOO!"

"MOOOOOO~" Charmy had begun making mooing noises out of excitement.

"Just SHUT UP!!" Shadow had gotten drunk and was now pointing a gun at Charmy. Charmy thought since Shadow was drunk he wouldn't have good aim.

**WRONG!**

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! **BANG!!**

**After shooting Charmy 7 times he went back to dreaming about Maria. Charmy survived but with major injuries, and brain damage. Vector and Espio cried for hours knowing that Charmy was still alive and probably more annoying now. Klonoa tried to get rid of all the blood stains seeing as he was having to stay here for a while. **

"**How do you kill these …. 'moos'?" Vanilla asked hoping for a epic battle. **

"**You kill them like you would kill anything else. Just injure them and they go poof." Klonoa stated using simple terms so the idiots could understand.**

"**SWEET KILLIN SPREE!!!! " Shadow said now no longer drunk and had a demonic look on his face. He was already loading his guns and set them up getting ready for the massacre.**

"**Oh, my sweet Vanilla, sadly I must go to war. But fear not! For I shall come back for you and then we can live together in piece." Vector said again on his knees and holding Vanilla's hand and attempting to gaze into her eyes.**

"**MOMMA THIS POTATO CHIP IS WEIRD!!" Cream called out crying and jumped into her mothers hands. Failed again.**

"**Oh Vector, please kill that potato chip. For the sake of me and my child." Vanilla dramatically cried, tightly holding Cream, and gazing into Vectors eyes. The same way she gets him to do everything.**

"**If it's for you I shall do anything." Vector calmly said although his heart was beating rather fast from Vanilla's scene.**

"**Rouge they're at it again~" Espio cried in place of Charmy.**

"**I. Don't. Care." Rouge said, now she was drunk and was leaning on the TV set. Espio stared a moment, he was nervous for the television. He and that television had been friends for years. He can't allow it to die now. With the last bit of his strength he pushed Rouge to the ground and stabbed her several times in the stomach, arms, and legs. After he walked away she to was picked up by the ambulance along with Charmy. Klonoa got to work cleaning that stain off the carpet. Why couldn't he of done it on tile?**

"**Okay now that two of the idiots have been admitted to the hospital, it's time for a massacre!!" Shadow happily declared. Holding his guns in his hands and larger ones on his back while smaller ones were carried in various pockets on his new black leather jacket. He put on some sunglasses and stated to smoke. Since he was the ultimate life forms drugs could effect him, but for other people it'd probably kill them rather quick. Half of the room stared in amazement and awe while the other half was wondering where he got the jacket. **

"**Um can I have a jacket like that?" Knuckles asked raising his hand like in school.**

"**If you did I'd have to shoot you A LOT." Shadow said rather angry at just the suggestion.**

"**Then I'd die!!" Knuckles whined.**

"**Great glad ya get the point of it." Shadow replied, not seeming like he cared.**

**While Knuckles cried in the corner talking to the voices in his head. Klonoa explained the moos stats, even though the only one seeming to care or even understand was Tails. Soon afterwards they killed off a few thousand moos., Shadow doing most of the work. Once they got back they had a barbeque using the few moos that survived and some steak. During all of this Knuckles was still in his corner.**

"**KNUCKLES THE MASTER EMERALD HAS BEEN STOLEN!! ROUGE TOOK IT!!" Espio shouted upon entry trying to get rid of the depressed echidna, of course this was a lie. However knowing Rouge she wouldn't tell nor admit to it. So it'd probably take a few hours for him to understand it was to get rid of him. Upon hearing that the master emerald had been stolen he dashed out the door to discover this scene.**

"**Oh Shadow…. I- I-I've always loved you!!" Rouge shouted running to Shadows hands, only for Shadow to move and shoot her in the stomach.(now her wounds from Espio were getting worse.) She toppled off the side of the cliff.**

"**Ugg…." Rouge was now holding on for her life. **

"**Don't you eva say that again." Shadow demonically said, and kicked Rouge making her fall to her demise.**


End file.
